Justification

I mentioned a few days ago that I met with Coach for the 1st time last weekend. After looking at my athlete questionnaire, she said, “You’ve been running for 10 years?” to which I responded with a “Yes”. She told me that technically, I really should be faster by now and that there’s no reason why I couldn’t get under a 4 hour marathon (rather than a sub-5).

I’ll admit that at first, I was taken aback by this. I was a little offended. Hey, I worked hard for my 23-minute PR in NYC! But then I had to remember, Coach was a competitive athlete growing up. She didn’t compete in running, but since starting running and triathlons she has quickly improved and gone from sprint distance races to Ironman distance races in the course of a few short years. She started this sport and was competitive from day 1. And she is kicking butt!

I, on the other hand, was not like that. At all. I felt that I needed to justify exactly why I was so friggin slow…this may take awhile.

My Humble Beginnings…
I began running in the summer of 2001. I had recently lost 32+ lbs using Weight Watchers, power walking, cardio kickboxing and Tae-Bo. However, I had this goal of actually running an ENTIRE 5K before my 30th birthday the following year. I had a treadmill at home and I worked toward that 5k goal and achieved it. Before I knew it, I was running 4, then 5 miles. By October of that year, I was running about 6 miles pretty easily and my BFF who was training for the Houston Marathon suggested that I train for the inaugural Houston Half Marathon. I found the Hal Higdon training plan on-line and trained mostly on my treadmill. My longest run before the race was 9 miles. I was completely and utterly clueless – I wore Nikes purchased at the outlet mall for about $39, I had on cotton socks, cotton shirt and cotton sports bra, I had no idea what Gu was and had no clue about hydration. But, I ran the 2002 Houston ½ Marathon and had a great time doing it. Before I knew it, it was summer of 2002 and I decided to join my BFF’s running group (Houston Fit) and train for the 2003 Houston Marathon with her. Never mind that had I run very little since finishing the ½ in January!

My 1st Marathon…
I thoroughly enjoyed Houston Fit, its coaches and all the friends I made there. But, I will admit, I never attended track workouts or hill workouts and probably skipped a weekday more often than I should have. We practiced the Galloway method of running 5 minutes and walking 1 minute. For me, it was about continuing to keep the weight off and fitness. And, I was a social runner. My friends and I chit-chatted during our long runs, never pushing the pace and taking extra walk breaks toward the end of most of our long runs. And, my BFF had an injury and ended up dropping out of the training. My first marathon time was 5:21:17 and some change. Not bad considering I had started out too fast, had some ITB issues and was borderline hypronatremic. I cursed through those last 5 miles, swearing I’d never do this again. But, the minute I had the medal around my neck I was already saying, “Next time, I am going to do…” and “Next time, I will be careful to…”.

My 1st NYC (and 2nd Marathon)…
On a whim, my BFF and I signed up for the NYC Marathon lotto. And we both got in. Again, we started training after not running much during the off season. Our 1st group training run was 8 miles, the BFF and I were not ready for that at all, so we came up with an excuse why we could only run 4 miles that day. Again, we were both pretty clueless – we now knew about hydration, Gu, etc., but a few weeks before the NYCM, one of the coaches asked us if we were ready for the hills in NYC. We looked at each other and then asked, “WHAT HILLS?”. We successfully finished NYC, hills and all, but we were extremely slow. The BFF was still nursing an injury, so we were stopping every few miles for her to stretch. Finally, at mile 22 after using the restroom at Marcus Garvey Park, I told the BFF that I couldn’t stop anymore. I needed to be done with this freaking race and I went ahead. My finish time was a depressing 6:02…but, until this year’s NYC marathon, I will say that this was the most fun I’ve ever had in a marathon!

My Dumb Decision…
My next marathon was a result of a very poor decision. I had decided after NYC that I would take a break and run the ½ marathon in Houston in January…and that’s what I trained for. But, my BFF was running the full and talked me into running the full with her. I changed from the ½ to the full the day before the race (you could do that in those days). Yeah, dumb. We had fun until about mile 16. After that, I think we both walked more than we ran. My finish time was 5:51:51. Seriously, we could see the police cars with flashing lights in the distance behind us. I vowed to never do another marathon without proper training again! (I also vowed to always continue running in the off season!)

My Trifecta Year (2006)…
A few months later, I was still running and I found out I was pregnant with the Kiddo. She was born in November and 4 weeks later I began the power walking/jogging again. I went and cheered for my friends who were running the 2005 Houston Marathon and Half Marathon in January and was envious. I knew I wanted to get back out there! That summer, I joined Houston Fit once more (without the BFF this time) and found a group of fun girls to run with who also attended track and hill workouts. For the 1st time, I started track and hill work and I loved it! But, about a week before our 25k, I had a bad case of achilles tendonitis and didn’t resume the hill/speedwork for the final 2 months of training.

I’ll be honest, running after having a baby was the hardest thing I’ve done. Those long runs in the summer were harder than I remembered and I felt like I was moving at a snail’s pace. I focused on regaining my fitness level and trying to build up my base mileage again. I did quite a few local 5k and 10k distance races during this time as well to work on my pace. I finished the 2006 Houston Marathon in 5:40:43. I was disappointed in my time. I knew I could do better, but I started out much too slow and could just never make up the time later.

I decided to run the Austin Marathon one month later and did a little better at 5:31:44, despite the delay at the start due to sleet and ice on the roads. But still, I knew I was capable of doing better. I signed up for the Chicago Marathon. Ugh, I had forgotten how brutal training for a Fall marathon could be when you train in Houston. The summer heat kicked my arse! To top things off, I had to work around the Hubby’s work schedule and ended up running at least a portion of my long runs alone. And, as if there wasn’t enough on my plate, I started grad school in August (2 months before Chicago). My training was less than stellar from that point forward. But, I did get a PR in Chicago. Barely. 5:20:56. And, I decided to sideline any marathon training until after grad school.

Baby #2…
During grad school, I kept running, although it was more for fitness and stress relief (juggling school, work and a family was tough!). I ran the Houston ½ Marathon in 2007 (2:27:21) and started doing some speed work again to see if I could improve my times. Then, I found out during the summer that I was pregnant with the Munchkin. So, no more races for me. In early 2008, I was finishing my final 2 semesters of grad school, updating our current house to sell, buying a new home, moving, and working full time. Ugh, it was a lot to juggle.

Once the Munchkin was born, I was ready to work off the baby weight again! In the summer of 2008, I joined Woodlands Fit (we had moved to the ‘burbs). I didn’t get to run with them until I finished grad school in August, but once I did, I immediately became friends with an awesome group of women. We decided to run the inaugural Rock & Roll San Antonio ½ Marathon and have a fun girl’s weekend…I knew I was far from being ready, so I decided to treat this as a training run (one with a medal at the end!). My time was my slowest yet – 2:43. Again, I had to build that base mileage and endurance up again and it was hard. Again. My next race was the 2009 Houston ½ in January, which just happened to fall on my birthday – I ran it in 2:31:38 and I felt I had given it my best. In April of 2009, I ran a very hilly Zooma Austin, but was still slower than I’d like – 2:38.

The fire ignites…
The next year, 2009, was when something in me really changed – I wanted to do better. The hubby was working on the weekends, so I couldn’t join a training group. I trained on my own for my next races and I was determined to improve. Finally.

I stayed focus and followed a training plan. I ran more miles and actually did speed work. My 2009 Houston ½ Marathon time improved – 2:19:54! I was stoked! Then, something else changed. I learned to swim (sort of) and did my 1st triathlon. Something about triathlons added more fuel to the fire…I wanted to do even better. And that’s where I started actually caring about my times. I worked harder and ran more mileage. My next races improved more – 2010 Zooma (2:24:50), 2011 Houston ½ Marathon (2:16:20) and of course, NYCM (4:57:52).

Don’t get me wrong, the underlying reason for my running and triathlon-ing remains the same - for fitness, weight control, stress relief and fun. But, now I want to constantly see how much I can improve. And I don't think I'll ever go back to that complacent attitude again. I know I am not a natural-born athlete and I may never qualify for Boston (nor do I really want to) or end up on a podium, but I want to know – what is my potential? As a runner? As a swimmer? As a cyclist?

I think Coach can help me find out.

Randomness

This post is filled with lots of random stuff…

The Decision:
I have made my decision and informed the Coach – I am going to run the Houston Marathon and do the Texas 70.3. Going back and forth trying to make the decision was painful. Once the decision was made, I was happy as a clam again. So…things are going to get very busy between now and April 1, but that’s okay. I am ready for the craziness challenge!

The Workouts:
Here’s what I’ve been up to since NYC (because I have to keep track – I am OCD about that):

Saturday, 11/12 – 6 miles – 11 min pace
This was my 1st run since NYC and it was a slow, painful run. I felt like someone beat me up, or at least my legs. Everything was a bit sore and creaky – my left hip felt weird, my right IT band was achey and I just felt all blah. Guess that’s to be expected, right?

Sunday, 11/13 - 30 minute Bike
Just easing back into the biking and loosening up the legs.

Monday. 11/14 – 3 miles – 10:45 pace
Just keepin’ things slow and easy. Felt better than Saturday’s run.

Wednesday, 11/16 – 4 miles, 10:20 pace
Legs feeling better and I met up with runner peep, Julie for 3 of the 4 miles.

Thursday, 11/17 – 3 miles, 9:57 pace
That’s more like it. Cooler temps helped a lot too!

Saturday, 11/19 -10 miles, 10:50 pace
Warm, muggy and just plain nasty running weather. The 10 felt pretty good otherwise, but slow.

Sunday, 11/20 - Bike, 1 hour (15 mph)
It felt great to be back out on the bike. I forgot how much I enjoy biking. However, it's been awhile and that was very apparent in my endurance level!

Monday, 11/21 - Easy run, 3 miles
Taking the advice from Coach, I ran this 3-miler super easy. At least I think it was, I forgot to charge my Garmin so I have no idea of the pace. Very warm, very muggy - yuck!

Tuesday, 11/21 - Easy run, 2.25 miles, 10:40 pace
Almost as soon as I started running, it went from light drizzle to actual rain drops. Luckily, it eased up pretty quickly, but would continue to alternate between drizzle and actual rain the entire time. I was carrying my cell phone and worried that it would get too wet, so I cut this run a bit short.

The Food Challenges:
I typically fall off the healthy eating wagon for a week after a race. In this case, it’s been over 2 weeks and I am still not back to it. Ugh, we made a dessert when my parents came over for dinner recently, then the Kiddo’s birthday party was on Saturday and we had a lot of leftover cupcakes, and now Thanksgiving! Ack! And, it doesn’t help when I come to work ready to eat my Greek yogurt and fruit and a co-worker says, “I brought you a muffin” or “I brought us some breakfast tacos”. Ugh, damn you co-workers for being thoughtful and nice! And, my kiddo’s birthday actually falls on Thanksgiving, so on top of all the other bad stuff on Thursday, there is also going to be more CAKE! I may need an intervention next week..you know, someone to get in my face and tell me to back away from the crap food. Either that or a serious detox.

The Anniversary:
I just want to say Happy 14th Anniversary to my awesome, amazing Hubby! He is a great hubby and a wonderful father. He puts up with my type-A personality and my triathlon/running obsession and should get a medal just for that alone. He’s the best!

Let the obsessing begin!!!

O.M.G.

I am ready to get to NYC, have a great race and then have some fun! I imagine focusing at work today will be a bit of a challenge...lucky for me, I have plenty to do that will give me no other option than to focus!

Here's today's NYC inspired tune from my all time favorite movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's...

Here's what I'm obsessing about:

Weather

Okay, I haven't been obsessing that much, but I checked the weather today....guess what? It looks pretty darn perfect!

Flying
So me and my bright ideas....I decided that we'd leave for NYC on Saturday instead of Friday. Why, you ask? Because when I ran NYC in 2003, we arrived on Friday. It was me and the hubby, plus one of my best friends and her hubby. The guys whined the entire time on Friday and Saturday, because my BFF and I were both running on Sunday and we didn't want to walk a lot (which you do in NYC even when you're trying not to) and we couldn't go out and drink with them on Friday or Saturday night. So, I thought I'd avoid the whining and fly in on Saturday. Well, now I am worried about having issues with our flight and not having time to get to the expo and pick up my race packet. I've been talking to Continental for the past week, checking to see if I can change my flight without using all of my one pass miles or paying a big fee, but I've decided to stick to my original plans and fly on Saturday. I am sure everything will work out!

Nutrition
The NYC marathon is a little different - instead of starting at 7 am or 7:30 am, it begins at 9:40 and my wave begins at 10:40 am. (I think in 2003, the start time was even later, like 11 am). So, I take a bus to Staten Island at 6:00 am and then hang out for HOURS. I am trying to figure out what to eat early in the morning. And, then I can just eat my usual Pop-Tarts about an hour before. I *think* I might eat a bagel thin with PB before leaving our apartment.

The Apartment
My sister-in-law and her husband are meeting us in NYC. She found a pretty good deal on an apartment in NYC using homeaway.com, so we decided we'd share the apartment and save a little money. We had a perfectly good hotel book prior to finding the apartment. Well, would you know it? I read an article on-line earlier this week that talked all about these illegal apartments and apartment rental scams...so now I am worried that we will get to NYC and not really have a place to stay!

The Sickies
I have not been going to bed as early as I normally do and as a result, I have felt a little run down this week. I swear I obsess about every little thing! Why does my throat feel a little scratchy? Why does my ear ache a little? Why am I sneezing so much today? Am I getting sick? To make matters worse, the kiddo started complaining that her stomach felt funny last night before bedtime. Sure enough, at 2 am she woke up and called me to her room and said she didn't feel good. I had just enough time to take her temperature (which was 101.3), before she ran to the bathroom to throw up. After the initial concern, I thought "oh God, please don't let this be contagious, and please don't let anyone else get sick!!!". Luckily, she seems to be doing a bit better today - she still has a temperature, but no stomach issues. The bad news is that she is going to miss her very 1st "All A Honor Roll" breakfast at school this morning. :-(

So anyway, that is what I am obsessing about. I know that everything will work out just fine and I'll have a great race and a fun time in NYC....I just can't wait to get there!!! Oh, and we managed to get tix to see David Letterman! I am really excited, since last time we were there his girlfriend went into labor and Paul Schaffer had to host.

Do you obsess before a race? What do you obsess about? How do you control these crazy obsessions?

Snoozing, Cows and Waffles

No, not snoozing cows eating waffles....I'll explain...

First off, I swam last night after work. Here's the deal - with all our activities, my schedule only allows me to swim on Tuesday and Thursday nights. But, the gym I belong to (it's the cheapest and closest) has "Aquafit" from 6 - 7 pm, which means that I can't swim until 7 pm. If I start swimming at 7 pm, I don't get home in time to hang out with the kiddos before bedtime. If I wait until after bedtime, I will be at the gym until almost 10 pm. Sucks either way, right? Last night, I worked a little late, which meant that by the time I could get to the gym it was 7 pm...I went and I swam. 2,350 to be exact. My longest swim to date (*I think*). And it felt good. But, it was BORING! Even with drills, it was just boring.

What does this have to do with snoozing? Well, swimming makes me tired. And, when my alarm clock went off at 4 am, I pushed the snooze button 3 times. 3 TIMES PEOPLE!!! That meant that my scheduled 5-miler had to become a 3.5-miler. Bummer.

But, it was a pretty good 3.5-miler. Why? Because I got to see the infamous neighborhood cows! They are known for leaving their care packages on the sidewalks, on the street and sometimes on your driveway. I have seen them once, but it was on a foggy morning and I almost thought it was some strange mirage or just my imagination. A neighbor who was also jogging that particular morning even mentioned them as our paths crossed, so I knew I had really seen them. But still.

But today, there was no fog and I was pretty darn close...three of them crossed the street in front of me. A car went by right after they passed and then two more crossed the street. They were huge. And cute. I don't know why I get so excited about these cows, but I do. :-)

And finally - the waffles. I know I said I had made the decision to do the HIM in April, but I am seriously waffling. Is that a word? Anyway, I want to do it. It is my all-time triathlon goal (because I have no desire whatsoever to do a full IM)....but then the reality hits:

1) It is expensive...I have already purchased bike shoes and a wetsuit, but there's still the new bike seat, aerobars, aerobottle, bike-fitting, hotel costs, yada yada, etc. We're planning to surprise the kids with a trip to Disney in April (and hopefully catch the shuttle launch). Disney is not cheap, especially when we want to do it right for the kid's 1st time. Then there's the Munchkin's birthday in May - parties are not cheap either. Then there's this trip to NYC in November for some little race ;-). The Hubby and I haven't had a trip together in awhile, so we're making that into a a mini-vacay. NYC is not cheap. Especially on a huge race weekend.

2) It is time-consuming...we're in our busier season at work, but that's about to end. Regardless, I feel as though I only have an hour to 1 1/2 hours with the kids in the evening as it is. Weekends is when we have our quality time. Sunday I was gone 1/2 the day riding my bike...and it only gets worse from here. On the other hand, it's less than two months before the race...after that, it's back to sprints. Sprints = less time training + more time with the family.

3) Training...I have been riding my bike since last tri season, but never more than about 25 miles. The 40-miler was rough, but I survived. And, I definitely have the run nailed down - I did the Houston 1/2 less than three weeks ago and I'm running the Austin 1/2 this weekend. Which is also a bad thing - you should have an easier workout week the week before each race and will probably need a bit of recovery time after...that cuts into critical training time. Also, I have neglected the swim and just started back on a regular basis last week. And - this is the big one - I have 7 weeks left to train.....AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TRAINING SCHEDULE YET. I just printed the one from beginnertriathlete.com....yesterday. If I am going to do this, I feel that I need to do it right. I need dedication to a schedule, I need a swim coach, I need UNLIMITED FUNDS. :-) Or maybe that's just my type A coming out.

So here I am. On the fence. Waffling. Debating. Pondering. Contemplating. Deciding.

Decisions, decisions...maybe I'll find an Oly to do instead. But then, the swim in the Oly is only 400m less than the swim in the HIM. Might as well do the HIM, right. See? This is what is going through my head non-stop.

Okay, now I want to eat waffles!

OMFG! What the hell am I thinking???

Those words went quietly through my mind as I listened to Sandra Sutherland teach the First-Timers Tri Clinic today at Northshore Park. I was watching the people rounding the buoys in Lake Woodlands in the background and could not believe that I was going to be out there soon. Some people were gliding through the water effortlessly with their freestyle, then there were some backstroking, breaststroking and sidestroking. I can do this I told myself.

The clinic gave a lot of great information...nothing I hadn't heard or read somewhere, but good information nonetheless. (I am super-duper obsessive compulsive about reading everything I can about triathlons - blogs, discussion forums, magazines, books, you name it.) It was a bit chilly, because the sky was overcast and there was a breeze. I met quite a few great people at the clinic, including a woman from Cypress, Keri, who I originally "met" through beginnertriathlete.com. We were all 1st timers so it was nice to commiserate and laugh about what this 1st time was going to be like.

Next, it was time to swim! I went ahead and put on my rented wetsuit...if there was even a fraction of a chance that I'd use it at TriGirl, I wanted to see what it was like in the water now. My arms felt weak just after getting that sucker on...whew, it's a workout by itself! Next, I got in the water, which was cold but with the wetsuit it wasn't too bad. I hesitated for a minute and then thought, "screw it!" and put my face in. I started to freestyle, but immediately went into freakout mode after seeing the lovely green through my goggles. The wetsuit felt like it was choking me and I had to take a minute to attempt to regain my composure before actually trying to swim again.

To say it didn't go well would be an understatement. What I was doing could not be called swimming. Everything...and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, I had been practicing in the pansy-ass pool went out the window. I tried to put my face in the water and freestyle, but then I felt like I was choking. I tried sidestroke - choking. After about 100 yards of this I seriously wondered what would happen if I tried to shed the wetsuit right there. Then I thought how much I would have to pay to Tri On The Run to replace it and kept trying to move forward. I rounded the 1st buoy and at the 2nd buoy, the kayak guy was asking people if they wanted to rest. I took him up on the offer and hung there on the kayak for a few seconds.

Seriously people, I was PANTING.

And swearing. A lot. (But not outloud)

So then I tried to keep going and never felt like I was getting anywhere - I'd do about 5 -6 strokes of freestyle, then sidestroke and at one point I even flipped to my back. It was awful. I was getting somewhere, because I eventually passed a few small buoys. At one point, not realizing I was saying it outloud, I said something like "OH JES-US CHRIST! THIS SUCKS!!!" and a guy next to me responded with a "Yes, it does", lol! Okay, so I was glad I was not the only one who felt that way. I was thinking a lot worse though, like "what in the f*ck am I doing?" and "G*d damn mother "f*cker holy sh*t to h*ll"...and yes, a few of these may have slipped out as well...I honestly don't remember. About the time I was getting to the part of the course where you're actually heading to shore, I began to question if I could even make it. I was tired. I had been struggling this entire time and I had freaking had it. I decided the following things:

I AM STUPID FOR DOING THIS. STUPID I'M TELLING YOU!

I AM NOT DOING TRIGIRL DAMMIT! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM GOING TO DROWN, AND THAT HIGH SCHOOL KID OVER THERE IN THE KAYAK IS GOING TO PULL MY BODY OUT OF THE LAKE!

And then I realized, OMG THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE IN OPEN WATER SWIMS!  THEY HAVE HEART ATTACKS IN THEIR RENTED WETSUITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I waved Kayak boy down and asked him if I could rest for a sec. I caught my breath and then started moving again. Where is the freaking ground???? Where is the goddamn ground??? Finally, there it was....I made it to shore and wasn't sure I ever, ever wanted to do that again.

So I got out and Keri was all, "How'd it go, did you do the 500?". And I was all like, "YES IT SUCKED I AM NEVER DONG THAT AGAIN". She was totally happy and very encouraging - someone I probably need to hang with more (I need to be more positive!). She swam to the 1st buoy (around 200) and over to the side twice, and she felt GREAT about the swim.

Seriously people, this tri-thing may really not be for me. The only reason I am not wussing out on TriGirl is because it is 200 pansy ass yards. If it were 500 there's no way in hell. I will not use the wetsuit. I like that with the wetsuit I can't drown - I just float. But, I felt like I was struggling against the wetsuit the entire time while being choked by it. I think I'd prefer free range of motion, even if it means freezing my ass off for the 1st 100 yards.

So that's it - my 1st open water swim. It sucked ass. No, it sucked monkey balls. No, it sucked BIG sweaty monkey balls. IT SUCKED.

Now excuse me while I go pick up my kiddos. :-)

Spin & Swim

****Warning - long post with self pity and venting ahead****

Tuesday, April 21 - Spin Class, 1 hour & Swim, 40 minutes

Spin Class
This was my 1st lunchtime spin class in almost 3 week. I didn't go the Thursday before the Zooma 1/2 marathon, because I didn't want sore quads on race day. I didn't go the Tuesday after, because I was still recovering from those damn hills! The other days I couldn't go due to work stuff - lunch meetings, training classes, travelling to Austin, etc.

Fortunately, I survived. I sweat like a pig, but I survived!! The instructor made us progressively increase our tension for what felt like forever! I do take a quickie shower after these classes (but don't have time to wash my hair), but I still feel sorry for my coworkers who get near me after the spin class...I swear it takes at least an hour for my face to not be beet read and to just feel like my body has really cooled down!

Swim
The whole swim thing didn't start out quite as planned. I arrived at the YMCA pool only to find that it was closed for maintenance. Grrrrr...yes, it adds at least 20 minutes to my commute just to get there, so I was extremely annoyed. Fortunately, the Y with the indoor pool is about 10 minutes away, so off I went. At this point in the game, skipping a swim workout is NOT an option. Of course, that pool was filled with kids taking swim classes...and they all swim better than I do. There was one lap lane open, but there was a swim instructor with 4/5 year olds at the deep end. She was having them jump in and the paddle to the side of the pool. The lifeguard told me that they'd be done soon, so I waited. After about 5 minutes, I just hopped in and started swimming 1/2 way down and back. They eventually finished and I had the entire lane to myself for about 15 minutes!

I don't know what the eff my problem is, but I am still having difficulty breathing. I practiced some of the TI drills, but still can't freaking breathe. It's better than it was a couple of weeks ago...I can at least go 50 yds without stopping, sometimes 75 - but any more than that and I get winded. It's so frustrating! At one point, I almost said "screw this" and hopped out of the pool with the intention of forgetting about this whole stupid tri-thing. I started having serious thoughts about not doing this tri, even though it's only 200 yds. I started thinking, "Who am I to get out there and possibly put myself in danger because I can't get my shit together?" or "Do I really want to be rescued by some 18 year old lifeguard?" or even "Maybe I'm not cut out for this...maybe I wasn't meant to do triathlons". I thought to myself, "Seriously, if the water is choppy on race day, I'm gonna bail." Then I calmed down and remembered - you can always flip over onto your back for a second if you freak out...you may not do freestyle well, but you have sidestroke, lol.

After my freakout, 3 others arrived to swim laps. Somehow, I pulled myself together and managed to hammer out another 400 or so yds ...although there were rest stops between every 50 yds thanks to the breathing. Grrrrr........I just hate that this breathing thing could keep me from being successful at this. And, worse it means that I might never make it beyond this baby "super sprint" race and move onto a "real" sprint or any other distance.

Okay, I'll stop now. I am getting over the angst and will be back in the pool on Thursday. And Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday.

Well actually, I signed up for the First Timers Tri Clinic and open water swim at Lake Woodlands on Saturday. So yeah, I can freak out there and hopefully not on race day. Say your prayers people!

I am not kidding. Pray hard.

Rest you say???

Today was the weirdest of weird days...it all started with a big stinky poop.

From the baby of course!

I seriously think the baby was going for some kind of all-time world's record for the biggest, stinkiest poop ever! I usually get up, shower, get dressed then wake up the kids. Although they almost always wake-up before I get to them. This morning, I heard the baby on the monitor - awake and happy, just talking to himself. I walked into his room and it hit me.

worst.smell.ever.

Make you gag smell. His sleep sack was all wet so I carried him at arm's length over to the changing table, because I already had my work clothes on. When I unzipped his sleep sack, there was runny, nasty poop everywhere! At first, I asked the Kiddo to get a wash cloth, wet it and bring that and the baby wash stuff to me. Then I noticed that there is even a layer between him and his onesie. OMG and the smell...it's the 1st time I've almost gotten sick from a smell!!! So on second thought, maybe a washcloth won't work. So, into the bathtub he went! Somehow I still managed to get both the kiddos to school and make it to work 10 minutes early.


I also had a lunch meeting, which meant no spin class. Bummer too, because I was really looking forward to it...especially since I had dinner plans and needed something to make me not feel as guilty for drinking a margarita. :-) As I was sitting in the meeting, I received a call from the kiddo's school...she was having stomach issues and needed to be picked up! I left to pick up the kiddo and fortunately, we made it home right before the skies opened up and the monsoon started. The hubby picked up the baby from school and as we're getting everyone settled, the electricity went out! Good grief! Fortunately, the power came back on about an hour and a half later and DH offers to take over so I can still make it to dinner.

Dinner plans were with the group of gals that I'd be sharing a B&B in Bastrop for the Zooma Austin 1/2. Dinner plans = no swim after work.

So, Thursday was a day of rest. I enjoyed it, but I can't have too many of these!

I've. had. it.

Work, school, housework, house hunting, renovations, moving, pregnancy, trying to get on the freakin' treadmill...I don't think I can keep doing all this much longer. I am seriously sick of school and it's really the only thing on my plate that can be eliminated.

That whole 50/50 thing with the housework when your married?

Yeah, maybe in a dreamworld....definitely not the reality.

Not that I mean to complain about the hubby, but I am the neat freak responsible one...and he, well, he just isn't. Lol!

Maybe being sick earlier this week is making me grumpy. I dunno. I am in need of a massive attitude adjustment. Hell, I need a complete overhaul in that department.

Late to Bed, Early to Rise...

...makes for a tired, grumpy runnergirl.

Econ hell has officially begun.

Keynesian models, Classical models, circular flow models, GDP, NI, NNP, CAGR, PPF, MPC, inflation, aggregate demand, nominal values, real values, supply shocks, hedge funds, C+I+G+(X-M)=GDP, supply-side economics, demand-pull inflation, cost-push inflation, phillips curves, laffer curves, contractionary gap, investment spending, money market equillibrium, federal reserve policy, monetarists, utility maximization, triple bottom line, unemployment, regressions, purchasing power, oligopoly, market power, market shares, marginal utility, hyperinflation, ............aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

All these terms running through my head! I hate them. I hate them all!

Why do I care if GNP is at an equillibrium level?

Anyone?

Sorry, I just had to vent a little. Perhaps I wouldn't be so bitter if my carefully taken notes from class were any help at all in finishing my take home test. How can someone lecture for four straight hours every Saturday and still not give all the information needed to do these problems?!?!

Ugh, I need some wine.

Grow up!

I find it sad when grown women behave like high school girls! In my line of work, I see this more often than I'd like to admit.

Cliques, being bad sports, stirring the pot, gossip...sad!

Women today have enough to worry about without having to worry about each other. Since women make up at least half of the population, we ought to put a stop to this stupidity right now by making the commitment to respect each other at all times. After all, if our gender can't do that, how can we expect the rest of the world to respect us?

Please grow up, get over it and move on!

(okay, rant over! Sorry!)

Desperate

Anyone know a good commercial construction Superintendent or Project Manager?

Preferably with 10-15 years of experience. And, they must have ground up experience, as well as commercial and medical interior build-out experience.

Finding someone who meets these requirements is hard, so I am willing to try anything....even posting this here. If you or someone you know might be interested, PLEASE let me know!

Thanks!

Just wanted to send out a quick thanks to all the comments regarding treadmill training! I will be on the treadmill more than I'd like in the coming months, so I appreciate the advice.

Now, let me make sure I am perfectly clear...I do realize that the treadmill is not the most effective way to train. Trust me, I don't have any aspirations of winning any races by training on it. Believe it or not, I don't really care much about winning races at all. Nor will I ever. This may come as a HUGE shock to some, but I don't even have aspirations of running the race of all races - BOSTON. (GASP!)

For me, running began as a way to keep fit and maybe lose a little weight. I like the challenge of doing something I never thought I was capable of doing. At first, finishing a 5K without falling over from exhaustion was the goal. Then a 10K, then a 1/2 marathon and finally a marathon. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I would consider running 26.2 miles, I would have laughed and said "HELL NO!" and then proceed to ask why anyone in their right mind would EVER run 26.2 miles.

Do I want to get faster? Of course!
Do I want to push myself to do better? Yep!
Do I want to see what I am truly capable of? You bet!
Do I want to run a sub-5 marathon? You better believe it!
Do I want to PR in all distances and then try to top that? Hell Yeah!

That being said, I also have to explain that running is NOT the top priority in my life at this point in time. In fact, it probably never will be.

Spending quality time with my adorable daughter and hubby is. Work is next in line (hey, you gotta pay all those race entry fees)! Work is followed closely by school. Trust me, grad school is too damn expensive to not give 110%!

If I have the opportunity to run outdoors after work, but have to sacrifice seeing the kiddo while she's still awake or not get my homework done...I more than likely will not run. However, if having the best of all worlds means that I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn (or stay up a little later) to get on the dreadmill while the kiddo is asleep or not run at all, then so be it - I'll run on the friggin' treadmill. The other option would be to run outdoors at those hours...that is not an option since the hubby is at work during those times and you can't exactly leave a two-year old at home alone.

So there you have it. I hate running on the treadmill. However, it sometimes is that or not run at all. If I actually get to watch the news, ER or LOST in the process, well that gives me a little more enticement. When the craziness I call grad school is over, running will move up a notch on the priority ladder. Of course by then, we will probably have dance lessons or soccer practice to go to...hell, I may be stuck on the treadmill longer than I think. If that makes me less of a runner, then oh well. I'll get over it. Just look for me in the back of the pack.