Thursday, May 03, 2012

Confessions of a Food-a-holic

I have a confession to make... 

I don't eat to live, I live to eat.  I workout to eat.  I am also an emotional eater. 

Happy and want to celebrate?                 
Let's go to dinner! 

Sad and bummed?                             
Hmmm, a cookie might help! 

Stressful day at work?                            
How about some Hershey's kisses!

See? No matter what the occasion or problem, food helps!  I have been known as that person who never turns down food...especially when it's dessert.  I've often grabbed a few leftover cookies from a work lunch with the intent of bringing them home to the Hubs or the kids...however, they've often never made it home.  Oops!  And, at my current job, I am known for my cupcake obsession.  Sad!


I found that working out helped with this.  Running became a certain type of therapy for me.  Stressed, angry or sad - running helped me work through this.  Pounding the pavement, or in some cases the treadmill, gave me time to think things through.  Or in some cases, time to zone out and forget all about the stressors in my life.  Riding my bike, doing a tough spin class, P90X or Insanity workout had the same results.  Swimming?  Well, not as much, but it did help some.  The workouts gave me enough endorphins to not have to deal with stress by eating.  In fact, when I am training, I am much better at maintaining that "fuel the machine" attitude and eat the foods that I know will help me through those strenuous workouts.  I'm not saying eating right isn't still a huge daily struggle.  It is.  But, I tend to stay more focused when I am working out.

The Injury
As you all know, I haven't been able to get in the same types of workouts with my hip injury.  I have had to limit myself to only upper body and a little bit of core workouts.  Let's face it, this is just not the same!  And to make matters worse, this injury just happened to conincide with the busiest time of the year at work.  Can we say "STRESS"??? 

The first few weeks after stopping all the cardio went well.  I ate somewhat well and I maintained my weight.  However, as work became busier, my eating habits grew worse.  I think having the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with an injury didn't help either. Missing key races made me sad, depressed and angry.  Not knowing what was wrong with my hip was frustrating.

I'll admit, while I've been pretty consistent in getting in those arm workouts, I have not been eating the right things.  I have not gone completely off the deep end, but I have eaten more sweets, fat and carbs than my non-cardio self needs.  Quite a bit more.  Let's just say I ate more than my fair share of the Easter candy and leave it at that.

The result?

Added pounds and a general crappy feeling.  Those pounds I lost before NYCM?  Almost all of them had found their way back. 

Regaining Control
I decided last week that I was ready to put a stop to this.  On Wednesday, I started eating the right things again.


Fewer carbs and less sugar...sounds pretty easy, right?  The first couple of days were tough.  Because I had been eating crap, my body was craving crap.  But, by the weekend, I felt a new resolve.  My eating wasn't perfect (weekends are tough for me!), but it was much, much better than it had been for the past couple of months.  I was back to eating no sweets, fewer fruits, fewer carbs and more veggies. I began tracking what I was eating on again.  Something about seeing everything I've consumed for the day on that computer screen helps keep me accountable.  I know it's a pain in the ass, but I promise it helps!

I weighed myself yesterday and a few of those pounds are gone again.  Thank goodness.  I have also been rewarded with more energy and a better outlook.  Funny how eating right makes you feel so much better!

Eating right will ALWAYS be a daily struggle for me. I once heard a Weight Watchers leader say, "Nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin". This is so true, but sometimes it takes every ounce of will power to make myself believe it.

I know I will get back to my pre-NYCM weight, but I have to remember that it takes time.  Patience is not my best quality, but I am always working on that! 

Do you consider yourself a "food-a-holic"?  What do you do to maintain control?


Lisa said...

I used & lost 10 lbs. Those sites really work! I'm now using it to maintain.
I wish I had done this before the NYC marathon last year.

Good for you taking control! :-)

Stephanie said...

I hear ya!

With eating and with injuries and with patience - it's a struggle.

I just wish there was a way to make veggies taste like cupcakes.

Michelle Dragoo said...

It's so hard...recently switched to a pretty strict diet, but the dove chocolate still calls my name!